Jan 17 2009
My Mum, My Hero & Breast Cancer Survivor
I was told this morning that the mother of one of my oldest friends had died overnight. She was only 45 and it came as a bit of a shock. I’ve written before about how precious life is and how we cannot take it for granted in society in general, whether it is a baby being abused or an elderly person unable to afford heating. However, today I sent my condolances to my friend and the rest of her family because I truly felt for them. I knew Mandy, the lady that passed on, from the age of 2-ish because we always live in the same village and I was the same age as her oldest daughter. I can’t imagine how they must be feeling but I came close to being able to identify with them at the age of 9.
That was the age at which my mum found out she had breast cancer… for the first time.
My mum has had breast cancer twice, once when I was 9 and again when I was 11… twice within 18 months to be exact. She was 32 and 34. She told my brother and I everything she could about what was going on without mentioning the dreaded C word so we’d think everything was OK. She had radiotherapy, chemotherapy and also had to have her ovaries removed. She was strong and wasn’t about to leave two young children behind. I know some women don’t have a choice about that but I’m convinced her will to live helped her recovery. She is well and truly my hero. I’ve always looked up to her and admired her. I always cry when I think about what she went through, just like I am now, but I also get a little scared because I couldn’t have imagined my life without her.
I remember that she actually brushed out her hair as soon as it started to fall out because she was going to lose it sooner or later so wanted it on her terms. I remember that she was sick every day for a week after the chemo because the cocktail of drugs was that strong. I remember that she was still always there for us, no matter what and would come to my netball matches in her wig. I remember that her nose always bled and she bruised easily but she stll played with us and read us our bedtime story. I remember how she never cried and always carried on with life as normal. i also remember how she never allowed it to affect our childhood.
I also remember how I found out at 16 that she had cancer and how much I cried because I couldn’t bear to think of my mum going through all that pain and suffering.
She never put herself first. We were always first, and we still are. My life would have been very different without her. I wouldn’t have gotten through the bullying at school. I wouldn’t have been able to cope with all the health problems I have had over the last couple years. Of course, my dad is amazing as well but there are some things that mothers are more equipped to handle and crying teenagers isn’t one of them! Some of my extended family have been less than supportive recently. In fact, they haven’t even tried to understand what I’m going through, choosing to be nasty and talking about me behind my back instead. My mum and dad haven’t though. Not once, and I love them for it.
My mum is an absolutely amazing woman and I am incredibly thankful every day for her being here with me. I tell her I love her every time I see her and after every phone conversation. I speak to her at least once a day, whether face to face or in person and I never, ever take her for granted. I know people that do take their families for granted but after you come so close to losing one of the few people you love most in the world you see things a little differently.
I love you mum. I love you dad. I’m so proud to be your daughter xxx
